69shadesofgray:

If my jokes offend you:

1. I’m sorry
2. It won’t happen again
3. 1 & 2 are lies 
4. You’re a pussy

(Source: not-u-fat-jesus)

thatfunnyblog:

i might still be ugly but i used to be uglier

(Source: pansypunx)

I suck at texting unless

• I am in a relationship with you
• You are my mom
• I need something
• Me and you are close as fuck

(Source: ahtnamasyay)